This is Michelle's Mom. I have a very heavy heart, and have given this post much thought.
It has come to my attention that my daughter's father and family are upset at her over the breakup of our family. This occurred over 20 years ago. I do not like to rehash things, but I am going to clear the air here. Please bare with me. This is a difficult post for me.
On June 8, 1974, I married MJ (no I will not give his full name. I respect his privacy). I was a very naive 19 year old, and he was 26. We were pregnant with my daughter. Two weeks after we were married, my beloved father died. I was devastated, and still miss him today. About 2 weeks after that, MJ went into the hospital for 3 months. The docs could not figure out what was wrong with him for sure. They did do some surgery on him, but were not sure it was necessary. We settled down after that to await our child. Those times were ok, although, he was always wanting to try on my nightgowns, etc. My bro and sis in law lived across the street from us for a while, and she saw him in one of my nightgowns one day when I was gone.
He continued to be sick off and on for several years. Finally, a doc decided he would figure out what was wrong. After much searching, and many anxiety filled days, he diagnosed MJ with lupus. It finally took a kidney biopsy to confirm the diagnosis. That small pinhole became somehow infected. Thus began many years of hospital visits, sepsis, close near death, and nights filled with me changing bandages on a wound that now extended beyond his abdominal wall. I also got up 3 times a night and gave him IV therapy. At this same time, I was working for the federal government full time, and a toy store part time. I was also going to college full time. I did not know if I was coming or going, and was exhausted all the time.
After many years of this, a doc suggested I take MJ to Duke University to see if they could pinpoint what was going wrong with him all the time. After video cams in the room, and much searching, testing, etc., I was stunned when Duke told me, "your husband has Munchausen Disease". He had infected his own wounds, and caused all the agony my family went through. To top it all off, he was also diagnosed as multiple personality disorder, and schizophrenic. I took him home in shock, but was still prepared to take care of him. After all, I had married him, he was my responsibility.
My daughter was around 16 around this time. She was getting ready for her prom that night. Her Dad kept going in and out of her room. Finally, she told me to keep him out. I said he just wants to participate in your big night. We got into a screaming match, and I am ashamed to say, I got mad, slapped her, and asked her what the hell was wrong with her Dad loving her. She screamed back at me, that he had been molesting her for years, and that she did not want him in her room ever. To say I was shocked, does not come close to what I felt. I threw him out of the house at 3 am, only because if he had stayed any longer I would have murdered him. My daughter ended up having a nervous breakdown, and going to counseling. When that did not work well, she was admitted to a psych ward for teenagers. At this point, her father's family figured it was a false memory! She told me about the abuse long before she ended up in Kansas Inst.
I reported that abuse to the police dept. After much heart searching, I realized what they were telling me was true. My child would be put on trial, not her father. I had no choice, but to not press charges, although in divorce court, the judge severed all his rights to her due to the abuse.
In the meantime, his family == aunts and uncles she loved, and trusted, quit talking to her. To this day, they do not contact her because she lives with me!
It breaks my heart to see her face light up when she finds out and aunt, uncle, etc., is coming to visit with other cousins that live close. It breaks even more, when they never call and arrange to see her.
They do not have to see me. I am saddened that they have let this monster get away with all of the crap he did. I am mad that they do not realize how evil he truly is. May they protect all their children and grandchildren from him. He knows what he did, he admitted it to me! But not to them. May God have mercy on all their souls.
They question why she does not contact MJ anymore. Her psychiatrist advised her not to. Never let the rattlesnake back into the den once he has been ousted.
To MJ's family: Shame on you for not believing a child's cry from the heart to protect her. You should all be so very proud of yourselves.